Paul.Chattaway.com




     
Order in Chaos...

Home

Absinthe
Classic Computers
Current Computers
Dwarven Runes
Electronic Projects
Entertainment
   My Google Video Picks
   Stranger than Fiction
   The Joke Book
Gardening
Model & Sport Rocketry
Photo Album
Programming
Video Special Effects

About the Author
www.chattaway.com
multiserve.chattaway.com

Google
 
Do you find this site useful?
Donations gladly accepted!

The Joke Book

Laws of Work

The first 90% of a project takes 10% of the time; the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.

If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

It doesn't matter what you do; it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

The more garbage you put up with, the more garbage you are going to get.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn fool about it.

There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.

Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Following the rules will not get the job done.

Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.


Page last modified 2008-03-27
All pages, files, and graphics Copyright © 1995-2008 Paul Chattaway, All Rights Reserved,
unless otherwise specified or someone else's copyright or public domain.
Questions or comments about this site? Send an e-mail to Paul Chattaway