Do you find this site useful?
Donations gladly accepted!
Stranger than Fiction
Contraceptive jelly story
(or how there's a fixed amount of common sense in the world,
and as the world population increases, the common sense handed
out to each person decreases)
This one is not for the weak of stomach . . . ;-) Like, Duh. . .
(This is almost too pathetic -- never mind, um, gross -- to even be funny!)
PHILADELPHIA, Pa. - A woman is suing the pharmacy that sold her a popular
contraceptive jelly - because she ate the stuff on toast and got pregnant
And, incredibly, many legal experts are saying she's got an excellent
chance of collecting!
"The woman is a complete idiot," said one attorney who asked that we not
use his name. "How bright can you be if you think eating a vaginal gel
will prevent conception?
"But certain aspects of the case involve truth in labeling and false
advertising issues. She may not collect but she'll make a lot of noise and
trouble. People are down on lawyers anyway. They think we waste time and
money on frivolous lawsuits. This isn't going to help our public relations
A spokesman for the unnamed mom-and-pop drugstore says he's shocked and
angry that such a case could ever be taken seriously. "All she has to do
is open the box and read the directions," says the spokesman. "Next thing
you know someone will come after us because they couldn't stick things
together with their toothpaste.
"I can just imagine some moron saying: 'It's paste, isn't it? Why can't I
glue these papers onto my bulletin board?' "
But attorneys for Mrs. Chyton say she was swindled and lied to by
implication and they intend to make the pharmacy pay $500,000 for the
hardship the woman will have to endure.
"It says right on it 'jelly,'" says Mrs. Chyton, a former model who was
once a cheerleader for a popular professional basketball team.
"And they kept it on the shelf just two aisles from the food section. I
know, now, that the directions say it should be used vaginally with a
"But who has time to sit around reading directions these days - especially
when you're sexually aroused?