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Stranger than Fiction

Air Force Humor or High In The Sky

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots, and the replies from the maintenance crews.
Problem:"Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution:"Almost replaced left inside main tire."
Problem:"Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution:"Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
Problem:"The autopilot doesn't."
Solution:"It does now."
Problem:"Something loose in cockpit."
Solution:"Something tightened in cockpit."
Problem:"Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution:"Evidence removed."
Problem:"DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution:"Volume set to more believable level."
Problem:"Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution:"Live bugs on order."
Problem:"Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution:"Cannot reproduce problem on ground."
Problem:"IFF inoperative."
Solution:"IFF inoperative in OFF mode."
Problem:"Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution:"That's what they're there for."
Problem:"Number three engine missing."
Solution:"Engine found on right wing after brief search."

Page last modified 2008-03-28
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